


Five Friends Clint made and the One that He Hasn't Met Yet

by uofmdragon



Series: Creature Feature [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 3 Sentence Fiction, 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Dragons, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Harpy, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Dragons, Everyone is a mythical creature (except Happy) AU, Gargoyles - Freeform, Gen, Harpies, Jorōgumo, Minotaurs, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Selkies, Vampires, that kind of exploded into more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-17
Updated: 2014-01-17
Packaged: 2018-01-09 02:31:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1140389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uofmdragon/pseuds/uofmdragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After leaving the circus, Clint is looking forward to a lonely existence until he starts meeting some friends.  Though the vampires are all kinds of terrifying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Friends Clint made and the One that He Hasn't Met Yet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [featheredschist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/featheredschist/gifts).



> So, I wrote a 3 sentence AU where Clint was a Harpy and Phil was a Vampire. Then featheredschist asked about how Clint met everyone else. 
> 
> (The original AU will be posted later).
> 
> This was beta'd by Ralkana.

1\. Natasha

Clint left the circus when his brother abandoned him to its less than tender mercies.  He found an old run down church where he could roost for the day in the belltower.  There were some cobwebs, but Clint didn’t mind until he woke up hanging by his feet and looking into the eyes of a spider demon or something that was half-spider, half-gorgeous woman.

"Uh, hi," Clint said, trying for casual. "Is this your home? I’m sorry, I didn’t know."

"Do you think I care?" she said, baring her fangs.

"I could hope, I mean," Clint sighed.  "Out of the frying pan and into the fire."

She tilted her head at him.

"So what are you?" Clint asked.

"Does it matter?"

"I’d kind of like to know what’s going to kill me."

"Jorōgumo."

"Huh?" Clint said, tilting his head. 

"What?"

"That sounds…" He trailed off when she arched an eyebrow at him.  "Actually, that would probably come out as kind of racist."

"Just because the Japanese named us, doesn’t mean that we are Japanese," she said.

"Interesting. I mean all harpies as far as I know can trace their history back to Greece," Clint said.  "Though Dad liked to harp on the fact that we were descendents of Aello of Strophades."

"Did you just make a pun?"

"Yeah," Clint agreed.  "I’m kind of nervous. You’re beautiful, but terrifying and planning on eating me."

"You haven’t actually given me a reason not to eat you."

"Do you want one?" Clint asked.  "Cause, I could try thinking of one."

"Like what?"

"We could be friends?"

"Friends? Why would I want a harpy as a friend?"

"Because I can see a threat coming before it ends up in your web."

"And what would threaten my web?"

"You tell me and I’ll keep watch," Clint suggested.

"You are amusing…"

"You can always kill me later."

"True," she agreed, and suddenly Clint was on the floor.

"I’m Clint," Clint said, getting up.

"Natasha." 

"Nice to meet you, Natasha," Clint said, smiling at her.

 

2\. Thor

"You know, sometimes I wonder why I hang out with her.  She’s already threatening to eat me, but I think she’s lonely, because she hasn’t bared her fangs at me lately," Clint said to the stone statue. He watched as Natasha went from shop to shop, buying things from the humans.  She was kind of bad at it, worse than Clint.  He sighed.  "I think she likes knowing that I’m up here though, making sure no one is following her."

"Knowing someone is watching your back can be quite comforting," the statue suddenly said.  
Clint startled, taking flight and seeking refuge on another building.  He was grateful it was night, so his shadow didn’t alert any humans.  The statue was moving, spreading large stone wings.

"I am sorry, my friend," the statue called.  "I did not mean to startle you."

"Yeah, I didn’t know statues talked," Clint said, returning to the same roof, though a bit farther down.

"I’m a gargoyle, we tend to blend in."

"Oh," Clint said.  "Can you fly with those?"

"I can." The gargoyle decided to prove it to him, taking off and flying a few roofs down.

Clint followed after him.  ”Are there a lot of you around here?”

"Some, but I have made friends elsewhere."

"Oh?" Clint asked.

"I have a friend who owns a restaurant for our kind.  You should join us, bring your jorōgumo friend with you."

"You know what she is?" Clint said, amazed that someone knew.

"Gargoyles live a long time. We have seen many things.  Well at least I have."

"And you are?"

"Thor."

"Clint."

"That’s not very Greek."

"I know. I never said it was my actual name though."

 

3\. Steve

Natasha refused to come out and join Clint when he went to find the restaurant for the first time.  Clint went alone, with Natasha telling him was going to die and it was a shame that someone else was going to do it, because he would make a superior meal for her.  Clint only rolled his eyes and went to find it himself.

He did find it, down by the river as Thor had said.  Actually it had its own dock, which Clint realized there was a reason for when he saw the man climbing out of the water, sealskin draped over his shoulders. Clint drooled just a bit.

"Hi," the selkie said, smiling at him. "I don’t think I’ve seen you before."

"You haven’t. I’m Clint," Clint said, offering his hand.

The selkie took Clint's hand and shook it. "Steve."

Clint shook it, and that seemed to be good enough for Steve.  Steve took him inside and introduced him to some people that worked there.  It was on his fifth visit that Clint would realize that Steve was in charge of the place, but didn’t actually own it.

 

4\. Bruce

"Hey," Steve said, when Clint entered.  "Could you do me a favor?"

"Sure?"

"Boss has a friend, he kind of had an accident."

"Accident?"

"He got a little angry, there was some property destruction, and he needs to hide from the humans," Steve said, making a face.

"Okay…"

"So, if you could just sit with him tonight.  You’re always pretty positive and you know how to listen."

"I can try," Clint said, looking around the diner.

"He’s over there, in the corner," Steve said, indicating a man that looked mostly human, except for the horns sticking out of the top of his shaggy brown hair.

"Huh," Clint said, before wandering over to him.  "Are you partially transformed?"

"It’s hard to settle down after I’ve gone full minotaur," the man said.

"Minotaur?" Clint repeated, smiling.  "I’m a harpy!"

The man blinked and stared at him.

"We originate from the same part of the world!" Clint explained.

"Yeah, I guess, we do."

"I’m Clint," Clint said, sticking his hand out, which the man shook.

"Bruce." 

Clint slid into the seat next to Bruce. “So how do you partially transform?”

"Does it matter to you?" Bruce asked.

"Well, harpies are kind of ugly when fully transformed," Clint explained.  "Be nice if I could keep my good looks, but still have the wings."

"Well, I don’t see why you couldn’t, it would take some practice…"

 

5\. Tony

Clint was surprised to find a woman on one of the roofs he used when he wanted to watch the humans.  He landed hesitantly, because her eyes had been on him the entire flight.

"Hi," Clint started.

"Hello, Clint," the woman said.

"Do I know you?" Clint asked.

"No, but apparently, you’ve made a few friends, and your exploits have made it so my boss would like to meet you."

"Your boss?"

"Lose the wings and I’ll take you to him," the woman instructed.

Clint sighed, transforming fully into a human.  The woman tossed him a shirt and they headed out of the building on foot. A limousine was waiting for them.

"Ms. Potts," the man nodded to the woman as he opened the door. "I take it you were successful."

"I was, thank you, Happy," Ms. Potts said, sliding in.

Happy held the door open for Clint to slide in and then closed it before going around the front.  Clint looked at Ms. Potts.  ”He’s human?”

"He is, but he’s very useful," Ms. Potts agreed.

"And what are you?" Clint asked.

"I’m sure you’ll solve that riddle for yourself later," Ms. Potts said.

"But I’m no good at riddles," Clint whined.

Ms. Potts smiled at him.  ”I’m sure you’ll have friends to help you figure it out.”

Clint nodded, falling silent as he stared out the windows. It was very different to see the city from this angle. They came to a large tower.  Ms. Potts led him inside and to the one of the higher floors.  She didn’t knock on the doors.

"Pepper! Did you find him?" an amused voice said. "You did! That’s my girl!"

"I am not your girl, Mr. Stark," Pepper said, gesturing Clint in further.  Clint didn’t like the room, it was big and airy, but there was something about it that made it seem... full.  Clint didn't know why he had that feeling, but he didn't like it.

"Clint, this is Tony Stark," Pepper said.  "Tony, this is Clint, the one you’ve heard so much about."

"I have," Tony agreed.  "You helped Bruce out, and I owe you for that."

"I like Bruce. He was able to help me," Clint said.

"You’ve also made Selki-sicle laugh," Tony added.

"Steve?"

"The one and the same, and Thor has said nothing but kind things about you, though he also says nice things about his adopted brother, who is kind of an asshole."

"I don’t understand what I’m doing here," Clint said, frowning when he realized that Pepper had slipped out.

"You’re here because I wanted to meet you. My friends are your friends, so we needed to meet, and I need to make sure my money is being spent correctly."

"Your money?"

"The tower. It's still under construction," Tony said, gesturing about the room.

"So, you just brought me here to meet me."

"Well, Steve informs me that you don’t have a phone. You’re going without a lot of modern items," Tony said, frowning at him.

"I… I never really learned to fake being human," Clint admitted.

"You helped Bruce, let me help you. Steve could use some help as well."

"You want me to work at the restaurant?"

"Why not?" Tony asked. "Steve says he’d hire you, if you ever asked."

"Um," Clint said, shaking his head as he tried to wrap his head around everything.  

Later, Clint learned that this was just how Tony Stark did business with any creature of mythical origins that he liked. Clint also realized that a dragon’s hoard does not just contain gold. Tony’s hoard also contained the people that he’d adopted to form a sort of family. Natasha also joined, though she was always wary of Tony’s dragon fire.

 

+1. The Vampires

Clint liked having friends and liked hanging out with them.  He also liked working at Steve's joint, but tonight something was up.  He could feel it in the way Steve kept glancing toward the large dining room, which was closed off.  Steve told him it was a private party and refused to say anything else.  

Clint reluctantly went about his business until the door slid open and a stream of - well they weren't exactly people - wandered out. They were all dressed in black, and there was something about them that made Clint want to fluff his feathers and bare his claws.  All Clint could do was duck behind the counter and stand slightly behind Steve, who was glaring at them all.

The first was an Asian woman in a vest that hugged her form all the way down to her hips with a black long-sleeved shirt under it and a white man with dark hair in a suit walked next to her, clearly the advance scout party, sent to make sure the way was safe.  The next pair was chattering, and Clint thought their accents sounded English.  Next was a taller woman with red streaks in her hair and a taller man with grey hair.  

The grey-haired man held up a finger to Steve.  "One star, your selection was rather lacking," he sneered, not stopping in his walk out of the building.

The next man to walk out made Clint want to take flight.  There was power, dangerous power, and the dark-skinned man knew it, considering the way his single eye swept the room. His other eye was covered by an eyepatch.  He was trailed by another white woman with her hair done up in a tight bun and an olive-skinned bald man with glasses, and Clint knew if they were watching the big shot's back then they had to be dangerous.  The man actually paused, looking at Steve and smiling as he said, "Thank you for your hospitality."

"You're welcome," Steve grumbled.  Clint realized he must have hated to say it, but Steve's manners were impeccable.

The procession had just gone through the door when Tony exited the room flanked by Rhodes, a djinn that could be a whirling tempest, and Pepper.  Tony headed straight for the bar, where Steve had pulled out a few glasses and set them down on the counter.  He filled each glass with some top shelf scotch that was only for Tony and those that Tony thought were worthy of it.

Tony looked grateful as he picked up his glass and downed it.  For once, Steve filled it back up without a word.

"Fucking vampires," Tony grumbled as he took his glass again.  Rhodey and Pepper took their own, taking a seat on either side of Tony and taking a sip.  "But hey, Fury and I have agreed not to have a turf war."

"I didn't know that was a possibility," Clint said, glancing at the door.  Now he understood his reaction, because vampires were predators and while they mostly snacked on animals or humans, a few had been known to go after other creatures.

"It wouldn't be, if he kept his bloody hands off my hoard," Tony growled.

"You did well, Tony," Pepper said, patting his back.

"And you got him to back down on refilling his ranks," Rhodey said.

"Only because he's bringing in some of his extended nest back in," Tony argued.  "And he wasn't very clear on how many he was bringing back from wherever he's sent them."

"That is worrying," Pepper agreed.

"I like how he assumes that because I make a new friend, he gets to make new vampires," Tony stated.

"You mean this was about me?" Clint asked.

"Well, I don't think they know about Natasha, which is a good thing," Tony said, before shuddering.  "Demon spider lady might actually make Dracula nervous."

"Was that really Dracula?" Clint asked.

"No, that's Tony's pet name for their leader," Steve said, shaking his head and looking amused.  "It really irritates him."

"Do I need to be nervous?" Clint asked.  "Are they going to come after me?"

"No," Tony said.  "Well, he might send one of them to talk to you to determine if you're really the neutral party that I made you out to be."

"Talk?" Clint repeated.

Tony nodded.  "Just talk. Stay calm, and talk up your friendship with Thor or Steve."

"Well, I do like them better," Clint replied.  That earned him a glare from Tony while the other three laughed.

Clint could talk to a vampire, right?  He could totally do that.  He was great at talking.


End file.
